Music and Healing
I’ve got nothing special tonight. No particular song is coming to mind. I’m still tired and worried and stressed, and that won’t change even when Dad gets home. Even though there’s a light at the end of the tunnel, I’ve still got a long way to go before I get out into that light. I had dinner with some friends tonight, and that helped relax me a little. But Dad says he feels like he caught a bug of some sort, so I’ve just got one more thing to worry about. It keeps going around and around and around.
Music helps. I’ve got the itunes on shuffle right now (currently, an acoustic demo of John Lennon’s “Woman”). And as the songs play, it feels like the hole inside me gets filled in a little more. It doesn’t take care of everything; as Paul Simon wrote, “sometimes even music cannot substitute for tears.” But there’s a peace in electric guitar and harmony and verse-chorus-verse that makes it easier to cope with the rest of it. I haven’t been taking enough advantage of my thousands of songs (now I’ve moved on to Duncan Sheik’s “Half Life”). I feel so out of control of everything else that being able to remember the lyrics to my favorite songs gives me something that feels like control. If I can sing along, I can still do something.
That’s all I have to say. I’m just not in the mental place right now for anything more. It’s just about all I can do to listen.